Zuma and his Race Frenzy

Let's have a parody on race. Not the race of life, but the issue of race, you know: I'm a black man in terms of racial classification.
It raises many questions when you think about it.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I wonder why I'm called 'black'. I'm not really black. I'm more brown, of sorts, albeit a deep dark brown. But I cannot call myself brown, or even dark brown, as there are people who are known as brown people, i.e. the Coloured people. Now if they are known as brown or Coloured, why am I known as black?
It's rather confusing. I also have a colour, which means I'm also coloured, strictly spoken, although my colour is a bit darker than their colour, although I'm also brown, rather than black.
To make it more confusing I can assure you, is that you actually get Coloured or brown people who are darker brown than I am, yet they are not black, but coloured.
You see? Where are we going with this?
The brown or Coloured people speak mainly Afrikaans, not Zulu, like me. Afrikaans is the Boer language, spoken by most whites in SA.
In America you have black Americans. Mr Obama ia a black American. But he is actually of mixed race, like our Colured people, as his mother was white. His father was black like we in Africa. Now he is called an 'African American', as if he is like us black Africans. But he is not. He is racially like our Coloured (brown) people. He also does not speak a black African language, just as is the case with our Coloured people. Now why should he be a black American if he is actually a Coloured? Eish.
Mr Zuma our President (aptly called Zoombie by my best friend Sommie Somerset Morkel), is of lighter brown colour, but he is black because he is a Zulu like I am. But he is lighter brown than many of the Coloured people in SA. Yet he is black.
It becomes more confusing when it gets to the white people. They are not really white. They have a peculiar colour which is really hard to describe, but it's not white, as white is the colour of snow, which they are by far not. They are something between pink, orange, red or such, also in different hues. In the black community we have albinos, who are whiter than any whites, i assure you. Yet they are black. Confusing? For sure.
Take the Chinese. Are they yellow? And those in India. What colour are they really? Why are they not called according to colour? Why is it that only when it gets to black that people who are actually brown are called black? But in SA people who are mixed race are called brown, contrary to America where they are called black?
In America they have something like Black History Month. But to me black has a negative connotation such as in bad. A black month to me would seem to link with a dark time, which is not good, as it sounds like a time of disaster, a negative period of time. Well, maybe it is, as black history in both America and SA reflect more darkness than light.
People of colour are called dark skinned, and white people are called light skinned. But dark is negative (pun intended), while light is positive. Eish.
It's actually a bit ridicilous, the way man has structured his view of race. Where are we going with this?
Some people nowadays get very upset on the issue of race. The famous world champion rugby team of New Zealand whom I greatly respect, are called the All Blacks. But the team is mostly populated by whites. The blacks in the team are more brown than black. That is not right, I would consider. When will someone protest that?
In SA it is the stated policy of the ANC government to eradicate racism. We know they lie when we look at the facts, for how can they do that if they promote blackness but ignore brownness and Indianness and discriminate against whiteness? Is this a matter of darkness trying to overcome light? It sure seems like it.